November 30, 2007

Красота - это страшная сила. Красота требует жертв. Красота спасет мир!
Как может страшная сила, которая требует жертв, спасти мир?

November 29, 2007

Man Law

another funny email . . . (well, I thought it was funny and so did Alina, cuz she sent it to me :-) )

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(1) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(2) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(3) After wrecking your boss' car.
(4) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and beaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're running on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(1) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(2) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(3) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

Guys-pass this on if you abide by the laws.
Girls-pass it on if you have a sense of humor.

20 Photographs Taken at the Exact Right Angle

Sawse - Stir it Up! » 20 Photographs Taken at the Exact Right Angle Jul, thanks for the link :-)

November 28, 2007

Cool Stuff . . . what will they think of next?

Simroid robot lets dental students know what hurts - Engadget

Ya Hochu Vas Vseh

A small toast from Jen's birthday:



Another one by Lenny, Za Mam:

INTERESTING STUFF

An email that's been passed around many times before, but I needed some new content. :-)

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David; Hearts - Charlemagne; Clubs -Alexander the Great and Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day
------------------------------------------------------------


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

November 27, 2007

Stupid Holiday Songs

So Thanksgiving just ended and there's trees and lights everywhere. Generally, I love holiday time in the city - the crisp air, the crowds, the beautiful storefronts, reefs and menorahs in every window, ice-skating rinks, shopping bags filled with presents, but the stupid songs! You know what I'm talking about, you can't turn on the radio without hearing "Dominique, the Donkey" and you can't walk into Saks (as Jen and I did after work) without hearing "All I want for Christmas is you." Come on!!! How corny can you get?!? There's always the Adam Sandler "Christmakwanzahanukkah" song to top the list. Anyway, that's my rant for the evening, but I'd love to have a list going of the worst holiday songs ever. I started with three, let's see if we can get to 50, okay that's a bit optimistic, but maybe 15? (Dashka, I think I will REALLY need your help on this one, lol).

Happy singing along, we always sing along!

November 26, 2007

Времени всегда нет, и оно всегда находится для всякой фигни.

November Rain . . .

Kinda goes with today's weather . . .
A Guns 'N Roses favorite . . .

November 20, 2007

Happy Birthday

Один старый мудрый грузин сказал:
-Если хочешь быть счастлив один день - напейся. -Если хочешь быть счастлив одну неделю - заболей. -Если хочешь быть счастлив один месяц - женись. -Если хочешь быть счастлив один год - заведи -любовницу. Если хочешь быть счастлив всю жизнь будь здоров, дорогой!

Happy Birthday to all my dear Scorpios!!! May health be the number one thing on your gift list!

November 18, 2007

Ze Big Bandhoulle

This crazy, talented, fun, energetic, awesome, pink band was absolutely unreal. On our way home to the hotel on our Last Night in Madrid, we decided to turn the corner, where we found a crowd of hundreds of people listening to this awesome wind band. Here's a couple of videos. The craziest thing was when they burst out with Hava Nagila in the middle of Puerta del Sol (the only time this whole trip that my camera died) and luckily enough we found them in Plaza de Mayor the next day, right before running to catch our plane!



12 am, Sunday Night







Update. . .

I realize that I haven't posted for a few days and some of you are getting antsy. I have been editing, organizing and uploading all my Spain pictures onto My (new) Fotki site. If you're interested, please check out my pics, and as always comments are always welcome. Pics are on Fotki. Videos are on YouTube.

So, enjoy and hopefully more to come!

November 14, 2007

Ne Dlya Slabo-Nervnih

Corrida, Plaza del Toros, Madrid, España





In Spain, bullfighting is an art, not a sport. Corridas and Torreadors are listed in the arts pages of newspapers, not sports pages. Watching the bullfight, I am not sure if I was more scared for the bull or the torreador. I'm glad I saw it, but I don't think I would ever do it again . . .

Madrid Musicians

Plaza de Mayor, Sunday, October 28, 2007


Madrid (and most of Spain) is filled with street performers of all sorts. Some of them are extremely talented playing in the streets and squares for a living. (More to come)

November 11, 2007

Behind every successful man there is a woman and inside every successful woman is hidden a little princess, waiting to be loved and pampered.

November 8, 2007

Life it seems is endless
It's just a waste of time
The journey to adulthood
Seems such an endless climb.

The waiting and the pain
There seems to be no end
But when you think the journeys through
You see around the bend.

The pain and all the hardships
Found in grown up life
You find that maturity
Has much more pain and strife.

Life has no constant rhythm
Nor an equal rhyme
The search for total happiness
Is just an endless climb.

Author Unknown

November 7, 2007

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES

another funny e-mail.

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

Then analyze the situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering .
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window , put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government .

November 5, 2007

You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. -Steven D. Woodhull

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all life really means. -Robert Louis Stevenson

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile. -Plato

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. -Tennessee Williams (Thomas Lanier)

Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. -Elbert Hubbard, A Thousand and One Epigrams, 1911, The Note Book, 1927

The biggest problem in the worldCould have been solved when it was small. -Witter Bynner, The Way of Life According to Laotzu

Indecision becomes decision with time. -Unknown

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. -Author Unknown

Что такое успех?

I am still working on getting my 4000 pictures organized, in the meantime . . .

В 4 года успех - это если ты не писаешь в штаны.
В 10 лет успех - это если у тебя есть друзья.
В 19 лет успех - это если ты занимаешься сексом.
В 35 лет успех - это если ты много зарабатываешь.
В 50 лет успех - это если ты занимаешься сексом.
В 70 лет успех - это если у тебя есть друзья.
В 80 лет успех - это если ты не писаешь в штаны...

November 1, 2007

10 принципов каждого знака зодиака

While I'm still working on getting the pics up, here's a cute email that I received yesterday . . . very true (about me at least, he he)

Овен:

1. Лучше со мной не спорить.
2. Сначала сделаю, потом - подумаю.
3. Там где остальные тормозят, я жму на газ.
4. Буду вечно молодым.
5. Делай как я, ведь лучше всё равно не сделаешь.
6. Самое трудное - выслушать собеседника до конца.
7. Упрямство - не порок.
8. Легко контролировать ситуацию, сложнее - свои эмоции.
9. Один овен - хорошо, два овна - много.
10. Первым не нападаю. Но не дай Бог меня задеть.

Телец:

1. Не жалко денег на покупку, жалко на гулянку.
2. Не надо мне чужого, не трогай моего.
3. Худой мир лучше доброй ссоры.
4. Не беспокой того, кто хорошо уселся.
5. Лучше красивый диван, чем красивый закат.
6. Еда - штука серёзная.
7. Ласковый телёнок двух маток сосёт.
8. Когда едешь вторым, экономишь силы.
9. Терпеть не могу одноразовых зажигалок!
10. Дегустатор - вот моё истинное призвание.

Близнецы:

1. Я сегодня не такой как вчера.
2. Кто владеет ситуацией, тот владеет инфомацией.
3. Один ум хорошо, а два лучше, особенно если оба принадлежат одному и тому же человеку.
4. Фигаро тут, Фигаро там.
5. Идея как и прочие дукты, не должны залежатся.
6. Один телевизор, телефон в доме - хорошо, а три лучше.
7. Кто не успел, тот опоздал.
8. Двигаюсь по жизни, как скутер по воде - не угубляюсь, зато быстро.
9. На базаре «за базар» не отвечаю.
10. Люблю количество, потому что на качество не хватает времени.

Рак:

1. Мой дом - моя крепость.
2. Нянчиться с другими - вот моё истинное призвание.
3. Хорошо бы запастись всем на свете, и терпением и варением.
4. Всё приходит к тому, кто умеет ждать.
5. С друзьями встречайся дома, а не в кафе.
6. Ничего так не согревает душу, как вид набитого холодильника.
7. Лучше подкопить, но достойную вещь купить.
8. Тяжело жить там, где негде спрятаться.
9. Я несу за собой своё прошлое, как заплечный рюкзак.
10. Неужели за двадцать лет можно износить пальто?

Лев:

1. Я поведу вас в даль светлую.
2. Лучше оказывать подержку, чем получить её.
3. Приятные манеры - половина успеха.
4. Солнце светит Львам.
5. Красивая табличка на двери кабинета важнее высокой зарплаты.
6. Люблю хорошо зарабатывать, а ещё больше - тратить.
7. Рояль в доме лучше, чем пианино, пусть даже на нём не кому играть.
8. Несмотря на свой приветливый вид, я в душе диктатор.
9. Если делать - так по-большому.
10. Зачем вам солнце, если я с вами????

Дева:

1. Терпение и труд всё перетрут.
2. Скромность украшает не только девушку, но и деву.
3. Каждый живёт для себя, но служит другим.
4. Порядок нужен везде: и в мыслях, и на кухне.
5. Докажи мне строго логически, что мы созданы друг для друга.
6. Криво висящая полка сводит меня с ума.
7. В больших маштабах я теряюсь.
8. Мне трудно извлечь косточки из целого ведра вишни.
9. В каждой Деве живёт классная дама.
10. Мухомору непременно нужно бросаться в глаза, а белый гриб - и так хорошо.

Весы:

1. Без партнёра - как без рук.
2. Самое противное - спорить.
3. Побеждай соглашаясь.
4. Принципиальными бывают только дураки.
5. Вовлеку кого угодно, во что угодно.
6. Красота спасёт мир.
7. Всё надо делать под настроение.
8. Самое трудное - сделать выбор.
9. Не над всеми «и» надо ставить точки.
10. Я и сама парой не знаю, за белых я или за красных.

Скорпион:

1. Жаль, некого ужалить.
2. Каждое событие подобно дивану: в нём должны быть скрытые пружины.
3. Для улыбки должна быть серьёзная причина.
4. Можно освободится от всего, но не от собственных страстей.
5. Я пою песнь любви на поле битвы. 6. Не всякий выдержит мой взгляд.
7. Мои страсти редко выходят наружу, подобно акуле, которая редко выплывает на cоверхность.
8. Мир пропадает без рыцарей.
9. Не перевелись ещё на земле Отеллы!
10. Я похож на кактус - мой сказочный цветок раскрывается для избранных.

Стрелец:

1. Хорошего человека должно быть много.
2. Кому я должен, всем прощаю.
3. Лучший отпуск - кругосветное путешествие.
4. Главное в проблеме - её маштаб.
5. Мой идеал - Иван Царевич.
6. На меня невозвожно сердиться.
7. Угрызение совести - что это такое???
8. Обязательность украшает лишь посредственных людей.
9. Беспокоится заранее глупо, разберёмся по ситуации.
10. Не обязательный человек просто обязан быть обязательным.

Козерог:

1. Я не спрингер, и даже не стайер. Я марафонец.
2. И один в поле воин.
3. Не нарушай законы - другому сойдёт, а тебя поймают.
4. Для себя мне нужно очень мало. Моё имущество - это просто зеркало моих успехов.
5. Жизнь подобна поезду, который на каждую станцию прыбывает точно по расписанию.
6. Приятно рассуждать о дальних странах, сидя дома.
7. Настоящий Козерог, подобно коньяку, отличается выдержкой.
8. Стоит всю жизнь карабкаться на вершину, что бы разок плюнуть оттуда вниз.
9. Только я молодею с годами.
10. Я еду - еду, не свищу, а как наеду - не спущу.

Водолей:

1. Как скучно похожим на других!
2. Если я тебя придумала, стань таким как я хочу.
3. Предрассудки - удел дураков.
4. Будущее просто обязано быть прекрасным.
5. Трудно быть ангелом, но - надо.
6. Доброе намеренье важнее добрых дел.
7. Чтобы стать новатором, нужно сначало забыть о традициях.
8. Секс? В жизни есть дела и поважнее.
9. Сначала друзья, а потом уж семья... если конечно останется время.
10. Нет меня добрее, нет меня бодрее.

Рыбы:

1. Посочувствовать важнее, чем помочь.
2. Не могу отказаться от спиртного, как рыба от воды.
3. Порядок придумали скучные люди.
4. Не откладывай на завтра то, что можно сделать послезавтра.
5. Мало ли что я могу пообещать...
6. Работать в спешке - то же, что глотать, не прожевывая.
7. Готов понять всех, только не себя.
8. Ива в бурю гнётся, а дуб валится.
9. Всем известно, что я вечно занят, но мало кто знает, чем именно.
10.Не давите на меня, а то ускользну, как рыба из рук!