Emptyness

I've felt pain before. My entire adolescence was extremely painful. I've lost loves and loved ones. Nothing compares to this numbing wound. My heart has been ripped out and the half that remains is still beating. Each photograph and clothing item, every memory, is a pinch of salt dropped on my bleeding heart. I do everything like she did, from not leaving dirty dishes and closing the fridge to correcting pronunciation and punctuation. I even finish sentences with her aforisms. Yes, the show does go on. Life continues for some faster than others. Yet this feeling of emptyness persists. Twenty people will not replace one and the tears keep streaming when I think no more are left. How can people laugh? How can they shop and listen to music? How can I smile? I know I will. I maybe even have, but this gaping hole keeps getting wider and emptier as minute by hour by day it's already a week.

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