Expressions for High STRESS days :-)

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Do I look like a fucking people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

You! Off my planet!

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 20 years.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

Back off! You're standing in my aura.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

One of us is thinking about sex...OK, it's me.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

Earth is full. Go home.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

And which dwarf are you?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

It ain't the size, it's...no, it's the size.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Your village called, their idiot is missing.