Cognitive Dissonance

Perhaps the title above is not necessarily the correct title for this post, but I just really liked this phrase. (Thanks Arky or your roomate.) In talking to Julie last night during one of our usual gab/gossip fests, she spoke an interesting phrase, "you do what you gotta do, and let other people follow accordingly." This leads me to a more famous saying of Rabbi Hillel, "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?"

In talking to Julzie this morning who was "woken up with 5 requests from 4 different people" which turned out to be 4 requests from 3 people was trying to help everyone except getting her own work done. We (that may be too general of a term) often find ourselves in situations where we will sooner help others then ourselves. We will proof a friend's paper, translate something for our parents, run to the pharmacy for a sick relative and maybe even google a topic that someone we know is having a "problem" with instead of tackling our own work and life. Perhaps, it is because it's easier to deal with other people's stuff rather than our own. Perhaps, it's a way of escapism or procrastination. Some of us multitask in order to accomplish things that have no benefit to ourselves except "being there" and often times that's not something that's even appreciated or considered. Maybe, there are no selfless deeds because helping someone in need is a way for us to feel better about ourselves. Yet, maybe we really do want to help, try to help, often in spite of ourselves. In helping others however, do we harm ourselves by putting our own issues/problems/work on the back-burner? If each of us isn't there for our own self, can we truly rely on others to be there? But, if we don't [try] to help others, are we really human?

I'm not sure if the above makes any sense but it's 12:30 am and after a week of 13 hour workdays and a work-filled weekend ahead of me, I'm sure it's forgivable. Maybe it's not and this is where the cognitive dissonance comes in. How do you prioritize between having a career, a family, a social life and extracurricular activities that you truly enjoy (i.e. [in no particular order] posting on your blog, that you seldom update; reading random things on the internet [really good NYT read that sort of kind of fits with this post, at least in my head]; seeing loved ones; and being really ticked off that there's way too many quotes, paranthesis and miscellaneous punctuation in this post and perhaps it's because I haven't read nearly as many books as I should've and want to and wish that i could.) This has become one big massive run-on, much like the jumble of thoughts and ideas that are in my head. I was never good with outlining or bulletpoints or PowerPoints, but get me started on a topic and I'll go off on all kinds of tangents, telling you all kinds of stories, except for whatever it is that I really want to say. . .