Enjoy.
Wedding, Marriage, Etc.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
The two secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage are a good sense of humor and a short memory!
FACT: No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
МУЖ расшифровывается как "Мужчина, Управляемый Женщиной".
Мужчина хозяин в доме, пока разрешает жене принимать все решения.
Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).
От поцелyя до ссоpы один шаг, а от ссоpы до поцелyя - неделя, а то и новые сапоги!
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
Мужчина женится, потому что влюбился. Женщина влюбляется, потому что хочет выйти замуж.
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. How is it, then, that "I do," is the longest sentence?When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him - Oscar Wilde
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -Henry Youngman
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henry Youngman
Hе спорьте с мужем, и будете всегда правы!
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong - Milton Berle
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single
С хорошей женой и плохому мужу хорошо.
Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Posts
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
ReplyDelete-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.
-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
-First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.
-Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
-Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
" while a first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence, second marriages are the triumph of hope over experience."
ReplyDeleteОн любил три вещи на свете:
ReplyDeleteЗа вечерней пенье, белых павлинов
И стертые карты Америки.
Не любил, когда плачут дети,
Не любил чая с малиной
И женской истерики.
...А я была его женой.