"Appearances are not held to be a clue to the truth. But we seem to have no other." -Ivy Compton-Burnett

“For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, as though they were realities and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are” -Niccolo Machiavelli

Another interesting conversation was sparked last night – are we really what we seem?

We’ve always been told to “never judge a book by its cover,” but of course we all judge. Outward appearances, manners and language result in preconceived notions, but rarely if ever do they show who we really are. We must dig deeper, get to know the person until we can really “judge” what they are all about. However, we are all too busy and too concerned with our own image to take the time to get to know somebody. Seldom do we meet people that intrigue us, which we find interesting, that we want to know more about. Sometimes we realize that they are not really worth knowing and sometimes we end up with the best of friends.

Having “bitch” written on your forehead doesn’t mean that you’re not the most kind and dear friend that anyone can ask for. It simply means that certain people won’t approach you because they are scared and certain will because they think they can “break” you. Having an all knowing personality and acting like a tough shot doesn’t mean that you’re a careless, selfish person. It may mean just the opposite – that you’re a fragile human being that puts up a front so that nobody can come near you. We all have an image of ourselves and it may not necessarily be the same view that we portray to others. All of us fall within a certain stereotype and while stereotypes don’t come about for no reason, it is rare that we fit the description perfectly.

Being blonde, doesn’t make you dumb anymore than going to college makes you smart. Being opinionated doesn’t mean that you’re always right anymore than being quiet or shy mean that you have nothing to say. Being beautiful/handsome doesn’t make you a good person any more than being unattractive makes you uninteresting. I could go on, but I think that you get the gist of where I am going, then why is it so important to us to look good? Why is it important to wear the hottest, best fitting jeans? To get a haircut? To clean our nails? To say the right things to the right people? To smile?

I think I learned the answer to these questions in sixth grade when a classmate said to me, “because you don’t come up to a person across a crowded room and say ‘wow great personality.’” Before we come to each other, before we hit it off, initially there must be something that has to attract us to that person. Stereotypes will not be broken, each of us will remain with our predisposed views of each other and we will all judge. However, we must remember that sometimes even the dullest looking book is a worthwhile read.