Where is the Happiness?

BEING TWENTY … SOMETHING (Read The Whole Thing...It's Worth it.)

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They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

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You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were soclose to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with aresome of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

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You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

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Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more thanusual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantlyadding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then thenext, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared andconfused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soonrealize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where youare or move forward.

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You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

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You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the sametopics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

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What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

The Mayonnaise Jar AND COFFEE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hoursin a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items infront of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a verylarge andempty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He thenasked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them intothe jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the openareas between the golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar wasfull. They agreed that it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else in the jar. He asked oncemore if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

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The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table andpoured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the emptyspace between the sand. The students laughed.

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"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

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The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

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Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffeere presented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always roomfor a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

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My dearest friends, thanks for all the cups of coffee that we have shared.