Family Matters, Comment Frenzy, etc.

At one time or another, all of us judged our parents, siblings and other close relatives. Yet, as I'm coming to realize more and more lately, there's nobody that will love you, care for you and be there for you like your family. We all get preoccupied with the mundaness of everyday life and don't realize who is there with us through it all- our bad days and our excitement, through washing dishes and doing laundry, through birthdays and holidays - through life, and through
death. Many of us are fortunate enough to also have friends that become such an intricate part of our everyday lives that they become an extension of our families.

Like most families, mine is crazy in its own right. We fight. We laugh. We cry. We forget to call each other. We get upset at things others do or say, or don't do or say. We judge. But, we are all
connected and alike in many more ways than I think any of us care to admit. We lost a very dear person to all of us, two months ago. She was the matriarch that insisted on family outings and celebrations. She was the radiant smile and the voice of wisdom when most of us didn't care to listen, or have the time to stop by for an hour. She was lucky enough to raise two sons, five granddaughters and see four great-grandkids. I am proud to say that despite all of life's
hardships that my grandmother lived through, she instilled something great in each of us.

In the last two months, I got to know my family as I never did before. Through this hardship I wanted to be only with my family. I didn't run, like I usually do. I wasn't the rock for everyone around me. Everyone around me was my rock. Through several email/aim/face-to-face conversations with various members of my family in the recent months, I got to know a different side of them - a side that I didn't necessarily know existed - a side that was intrically similar to myself, but from a completely different angle.

Attention motivates me, as does appreciation. Today's frenzy of comments left me with a feeling of wanting to write more, to share more, to discuss more. (You can now subscribe to my blog, see bar on the right. For those of you that like to keep your presence on my blog, and in my life anonymous, you can do so anonymously). My grandmother, as I assume most women (and even men) loved attention. She liked when people called her, brought her flowers (she loved flowers), and spent time with her. She liked the warmth of the human touch, but it (as all attention) had to be genuine. She'd rather you come and see her for five minutes knowing that you want to be there, then stay 3 hours wishing you were somewhere else. I read her anecdotes from Russian newspapers that she collected and watched "zhizn' prekrassna" and news from Israel. I told her about my friends and she about my grandfather and hers. I ate even when I wasn't hungry. I always thought that there will be next weekend when I could hear yet another story.

Life is short. Duh! I'm so glad that Anna put the history of our family together that I keep planning to see "next weekend." I'm ecstatic that us girls are getting close, to some extent like we used to and to some like we always have and yet on a completely different level. Maybe it's because we're all adults now. Maybe it's because each of us has the matriarchial duty instilled in us. Maybe it's that we are a family and for the first time in a very long time, if ever, I really feel like one.

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